I married my husband a few years ago. Of course, when we were first together, we had money, I owned a successful business, we both owned our own houses. We had plans for our future, and enjoyed family gatherings. He had been drinking daily, then stopped 2 months into our relationship. He was happy and healthy. We were very much in love, we were a great team, we brought out the best in each other. Had lots of great sex, he was attentive, lustful, and very focused on me. Then he began drinking again, and when I would ask him any type of question, he’d get intimidating and defensive. He started to check out other girls with no regard to my feelings, then deny he’d done it. He spent money, his, mine and he racked up the credit cards, without my knowledge-at first. Whenever I’d ask him about money, he’d blow me off, or get furious. He then changed to the extreme in the bedroom. We’d have sex, but wouldn’t take my shirt off (I was suspicious by this time, and was observing his behaviour if you can understand) or even look at me. It was not allowed to be talked over because anything he didn’t want to discuss, would not be discussed. I found out he let my bills go to the collection agencies, yet his were paid. He had a dog that bit me, and refused to get rid of him. The dog ruined my business as a result. I worked at home, and even kenneled, the dog was intimidating to my prospective clients. He’d kick the dog, and I blew up at him. I began to fall out of love with him and by this point he was screaming at me, swearing at me and shoving me, but at least the dog wasn’t getting the brunt of his ignorance. It was insanity, I knew it then like I know it now. He went from shoving me to punching me. I was in shock. He let the insurance on my house lapse and there was a fire. By this time I was on auto-pilot, unemployed for the first time in my adult life, broke, broken, and he made it so I was totally dependent on him. He neglected my feelings, my body, my home of 20 years and his dog. He abused his dog right in front of me. He abused me. He weighs 100 lbs. more than I do. He’s a liar, an alcoholic and a momma’s boy (and she’s a backstabbing B!TCH, that apple didn’t fall far…). She has white plates, he HAD white plates (every time he’d punch me, I’d break one of his mommies plates), she has white towels, he has white towels, she doesn’t own a dryer, he’d control when the laundry was done so it was hung outside. On and on…
For Valentine’s Day this year, I gave him the gift of the State and local Police, who took one look at me and threw his sorry, abusive drunk ass out of his own house. He went to live with his mommy and has been there since. He was ordered to bypass Anger Management and go straight to Domestic Violence Counseling. He had the nerve to tell me he’s now a MARKED MAN in our small town. Because of the business I ran for nearly 3 decades, I’ve made a lot of true, solid friends over the years, many of whom I’ve had to keep from kicking the living sh!t out of him. He’ll get his, but it’ll come in the form of Karma. She’s my best friend and his worst enemy. Girls, if it looks too good to be true, it damn sure is. If he wants to control everything; red flag! (I was so happy to have him take care of the money, he was my husband, it’s what he does for a living, why would I think otherwise then?) If he’s charming and very, very attentive and focused on YOU; red flag! If he says something in the beginning like, "I can be a little possessive, right?" ; RED FLAG! If he’s a control freak (he’d dial his cell for me while HE was driving) ; red flag! If he ever tells you or even insinuates you’re "not that smart" ; red flag! I’d love to give you his name, but he’s paying the bills here when he’s not drinking his paycheck and I’m not pushing it to the point where he will kill me. A shattered cheek, a fractured shoulder blade, a concussion, being choked several times, broken fingers and broken bones in my feet were enough. Some days, I still can’t believe this happened, but it did. I’m still healing, in therapy and I lived through one of every woman’s worst nightmares. I am now free of his abuse though, and the Police were kind and professional and never made me feel like I was to blame. Women of any age, beware of men like this. There is a book called "The Gift of Fear", by Gavin DeBecker, and in it he states that we are the only animals that will get into a locking metal box with a predator. He’s referring to a single female getting into an elevator with a single male. A lot of rape occurs on elevators. The point is this: TRUST YOUR GUT INSTINCTS. If it seems too good to be true, you can bet your life it is. All the fresh flowers, jewelry, dinners out, or new clothes on the planet can’t m
Most of your answers were kind. Thanks to those of you who got what I was saying. I can’t wait to be able to out this literal son of a b!tch, so that no one else suffers his "charm". He is mentally ill, and the alcoholism is only a symptom. His mother is also mentally ill and is a lonely, difficult, cold and uncaring woman. Take care and be well.

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