Why do women make a good man pay for the mistakes of the man before him?
I have been seeing this woman for 8 weeks and we really go to know one another and fall in love. Now every chase she gets she runs away from me for the smallest things. I love this woman with all of my heart but I am not a door mat either. Should I let her go and let her realize the mistake she made or just end it completely.
26 Responses
cobrasnake
06 Aug 2010
alan h
06 Aug 2010
have you ever thought that maybe she has been through a lot of othe bad date and love trails with other guy’s? you should set down with her and honestly tell her how you feel and ask her what’s wrong and listen with an open mind and try to fix the problem together.
tyates101
06 Aug 2010
I had the same problem – I think it is they felt like they were cheated by men and they will not make that mistake agin , but they think that they were perfect and everything that happen was not their fault it was the man, if she does not change i would leave her
CALI GIRL
06 Aug 2010
YES very good mentality you have, let her go she will realize her mistake and once she does let her come back with a different attitude … girls sometimes need time to recognize and realize theres a good man next to us…specially where she’s coming from. i think you need to give her space. good luck! oh, by the way just a hint, about 2 days after you havent talked call her and tell her ‘just wanted to say i love you’ and hang up.. either by phone email or text…but keep it that simple and she will keep you in her mind.! take my advice good luck! also, once in a while do the same but only say ‘i miss you’ or ‘your on my mind’ but keep it very simple and thats all you’ll say and only do it once a day! lates
Jazzy
06 Aug 2010
well some women are very cautious even though u love her she still feels like ur going to hurt her because you are a man. im 18 and i been dating since i was 14 yrs. and im still cautious with myself because ive been hurt so many times by all of my boyfriends and now that im in college i am even more aware because i dont want da man that im with to do the same things my ex did to me so i guard my heart just stay with her and keep tryin to work it out because if u love her just keep showin that your not like anyone else shes been with and eventually it will work out so dont worry
Veryconfused
06 Aug 2010
I think you should tell her how you feel…after all, you aren’t any of her ex boyfriends. She isn’t giving you a fair shot by pre-judging you. If she isn’t going to try to make an effort on her side and just keep running away from every little thing, then you need to find someone else.
cradle2resurrect
06 Aug 2010
Don’t end it, watever you do. Emotional scars from past relationships are the scars that stay on the face of your sooul forever…She’s obviously been hurt, and she’s just afraid of being hurt again by you. So she would appear to be a bit overtly cautious. You have to be patient and take it slow and let her trust you.
doubtful
06 Aug 2010
i think shes doing it unconsiously. in her previous relationship, the guy must of had her very well controlled. shes at a stage that anything you do, she you feels she is being controlled and therefore desides to run away.
just give her some time and if you are treating her right, im sure she will realize that your not the same as the previous one. you shoulnt end it because maybe she is a good person and you’ll never if you leave her.
stacy
06 Aug 2010
Maybe she is still not sure where the relationship with you is headed or that she is not completely rebounded from her last.
It’s not only a matter of you paying for the other guy, but she is going to be a lot more cautious in giving her love and commitment especially if she was the wronged one in the last relationship.
Don’t fight her, just be patient and understanding. Two months is not so long that you can’t be patient. Talk to her, and if you have already tried that or it doesn’t go anywhere, let her know that yuo are giving her space to decide what she wants and just be a friend. Don’t give up on her completely yet, you may lose the chance at love or at the worse a friend.
Blackwidow
06 Aug 2010
She is probably just trying to make sure none of the same things happen again. It must have been very painful for her. You just need to talk to her and make her understand that you are not going to treat her the same way her last boyfriend did. And you are not going to hurt her because you truly love her.
Phattygirl
06 Aug 2010
Communicate with her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Tell her that you’re NOT her ex,and if she wants to keep treatn you like the enemy you’ll have to walk away.When women get hurt sometimes it takes us sooooo long to get over it completely,even if we have a new bf.Just be a lil patient if you really love her.Good luck:)
california chick
06 Aug 2010
dont jump the gun!!! first talk to her and point out what she’z doin to you. and how she’s makin you pay for other mens mistakes. and that if she dont wise up, your out the door….now if she dont open her eyes and see the good guy that u are, then walk out and find a good lady who appreciates you, for you not just another door mat….
angeldolls4u
06 Aug 2010
The answer you got first is a good one so I will only add that I know how she feels. It is hard to trust after you have been hurt especially if it was several times. It will take her time to see that you do not want to hurt her. I know it is hard on you but give her a little time and a lot of love.
i_DoN’t_Kn
06 Aug 2010
this girl might just not be ready for a realtsionship
cfranklinwf
06 Aug 2010
When we girls get hurt we begin to hate men entirely because we begin to think all men are alike. It takes finding a man like you to fix that. If you can be patient with her just try talking to her and reminding her everyday that you are not him. If she is worth it you will be happy you stuck around. Good luck, I hope she comes around.
thegreatdavid_ha
06 Aug 2010
Because all women are crazy.
oldsoftee2001
06 Aug 2010
and we guys don’t do the same thing? get real!
we may not be as open or obvious about it but we do the same damN thing.
candiesman05
06 Aug 2010
if you find the answer to that let me know worse as time goes trust me
aggie babe
06 Aug 2010
I’m sort of in the same situation, I was really crazy about someone who had been hurt before, and he just would run whenever we started getting closer. And this was someone he had loved 7 years earlier! One thing I said to him that helped was to point out that he was still letting her control his life. But it takes time, and he agreed that he has to see a therapist and get this worked out – for himself! Even if the two of us don’t make it.
Jasmine R
06 Aug 2010
She is going to have to realize what kind of man you are on her own. You have to understand that to her, there probably hasnt been a good guy, and they have all you can rest assured, acted like they were. However, you’re right. You cant let her walk all over you, or have to be afraid shes gonna leave when you sneeze wrong. You should sit down, and agree not to yell or accuse each other and really tell her everything. Maybe take a week or two off and see if she comes back. But make sure she knows things have to change. Innocent until proven guilty, right? And good luck, Ive had the same problem, and I know it hurts.
pretty gurl
06 Aug 2010
look here either date peopl who have never had a man or just dont take it personal but its a trust thing that other guys blow srry but do let her know how you feel so she doesnt hurt you then in your next relationship you wont do the same
hardcoco
06 Aug 2010
If talking to her does not help, let her go. She is not ready.
Matt
06 Aug 2010
Let her know (not angrily though!) that if she doesn’t want to make things work you’re not going to wait around for her all your life dude! 
Get her a chance sure, but if she keepsrunning away of getting upset over the smallest things (AND you are trying to make them right) then don’t just wait around for her. Try to work things out, and give her a chance, but after that, end it if she doesn’t respond. Good luck bro!
lovelee1
06 Aug 2010
We don’t mean to D. It’s just a defense thing we have. Men have it too. I’m so sorry that you have to feel this way. But you can talk to her, try to understand her feelings, and give her the time and space she needs to heal. She’ll see that you are a good man and will love and appreciate you more for understanding her. If she doesn’t, don’t take her issues into yourself. If you’ve done all you can, that’s all any woman can ask for. She’s lucky to have you.
Impress
06 Aug 2010
when a woman or even a man gets hurt by a previous realtionship they get this idea, that all men or women are the same, and they are not going to let anyone else hurt them, if you really care about this girl, give her some time, let her see that you are not that person and you wont hurt her, eventually she will realize it.
u_suck
06 Aug 2010
it feels like she wants whatever she couldnt have before thats why
women are like they need attention 24/7 and they feel like theyre previous partner didnt pay for his mistakes and she makes the new one feel like he should
Can be for ignorance,for to get vendetta or revenge.Really is a big mistake in relationships.Try to talk with her first, and if that is not working,move on,do not suffer.There are a lot of women everywhere waiting for you.