Is anyone else embarrassed by gay pride parades?
I’m a bisexual male, currently with a boyfriend and all this gay pride stuff embarrasses me to no end. How am I supposed to convince heterosexuals that I am in a deep loving and serious relationship when my fellow LGBT members are marching down the street with a rainbow flag while wearing either leather bondage clothes or feathers? They are also reinforcing stereotypes. I want to distance myself from these people as far as humanly possible and spend my time with straight people who happen to be pro-gay.
It’s also very hypocritical. When you see the words "gay pride" you think equality and acceptance. What if you saw "straight pride parade"? Everyone would be up in arms calling them homophobes and bigots just for being proud of who they are.
18 Responses
teresacmt
07 Feb 2010
T.
07 Feb 2010
I know that when gay people act so flamboyant and they are embarrassing themselves so publicly, they aren’t doing much for the gay movement. I like the idea of the parades but there are always a few who have to ruin it for everyone.
Atom74
07 Feb 2010
I think that historically it is hugely important. In fact I marched in the 1st parade in my city some 20 years ago when it was actually quite dangerous. Now it is a commercial-fest of stereytypes yes. I totally agree, I refuse to support it any longer. Just realize why it exists, somebody had to pave the way so you could have a normal relationship after all.
EDIT: K ‘normal’ was so the wrong word. But a relationship where you can at least be recognised to some level. I suppose is far more accurate.
pammy
07 Feb 2010
Wow. Gay pride parades are a time for people to express themselves however they want to. It isn’t to try and make a good impression. It’s a time to let your hair down, be who you are and be accepted.
If you aren’t going to accept people for who they are, then who is the bigot?
You want to be accepted for who you are, right?
dirk
07 Feb 2010
It is time for the parades to evolve, so your homework is to build the kind of float that would do us proud.
Tom W for Da Ben
07 Feb 2010
Different people see gay pride as different things. Gay pride parade and festival used to be (and continues to be) a political statement. It is a statement to the rest of the community that we are proud to be who we are regardless of sexual orientation or proclivities.
There are many members of the LGBTQ community who feel that pride festivals and parade have become too commercialized and that there is nothing prideful about it. That’s perfectly OK as we each have our own pride in our own ways. The important thing is that you have the right to express your pride in whatever YOU deem to be prideful. If this includes marching down the boulevard in your whatever outfit(s), so be it! It is a celebratory statement for those that enjoy it! Thanks for asking and thanks for reading!
RobNyack
07 Feb 2010
please….it’s a PARADE. All parades are out-there flamboyant and celabratory.
you might be dealing with a bit of a self-loathing complex?
We all come from all walks of life….rich, poor, middle class, white, black, brown, yellow, urban, suburban, well educated, not so well educated, etc, etc, etc. You are gay and you are an individual. No one can define you unless you let them.
The parades are meant to be fun, wild, and entertaining. Just like ALL parades. You need to look inwards a bit more and see what the problem is rather than looking outwards and blaming a parade.
Aunt Henny Penny
07 Feb 2010
If Gay Pride celebrations bother or embarrass you, then do not go. People that march in such parades are simply trying to get their message out the only way they know how.
I agree with you though, I wish so called Gay Pride events were a lot less flamboyant. We spend so much time trying to be accepted as "no different" than everyone else, then we take to the streets half naked sceaming, "we’re here, we’re queer, get used to it".. go figure..
Jzzy
07 Feb 2010
Nicholas, you are right. Those parades perhaps have their reason of existing but i always notice that is the only thing straight people pick up: gays = flamboyant, flag waving, half naked men in glitter shoes. I can smile about them but never think they do much good.
roger
07 Feb 2010
Gay pride parades need to be zoned to be in adult business areas only to minimize children seeing that filth.
They are no less than sex shows.What kind of pride to people have that are based 100% on their sex acts?
Chante O
07 Feb 2010
I know alot of people who feel the same way you do. everyone has a differtn view on themselves and thats there personalities,,,its totally normal to be imbaressed by that stuff I think its silly ,,, But ive gone to many a parade..Im not even gay or lesbian : )
squeaky
07 Feb 2010
Ohmygosh youre so right!
Why cant our parades be more like.. oh, I dont know… say… Mardi Gras??
Hmphf!
.
Moxie!
07 Feb 2010
No, crazy things happen and people act crazy at ALL types of parades. Their just having fun, this is probably the only time to get to fully express themselves. There is diversity at these prides but the media chooses not to show it, they show all the crazy stuff. If you want to see a change, go there in a business suit or something. I personally don’t see the big deal. Everyday is a straight pride parade. No one is telling straight people their immoral and going to hell so they don’t need a pride parade. Yes I understand what you’re trying to say, it does play into stereotypes, but the smart people know that all of us are not like that. The ones that don’t are ignorant so nothing will probably change their mind. It’s not a big deal to me.
for da ben dan j
07 Feb 2010
Yes and no at the same time. The pride parade in itself doesn’t bother me, but the behavior of a small segment in order to shock kind of does.
Kimberly A
07 Feb 2010
people are who they are. They aren’t just "acting" flamboyant, thats just them. If they’re actions are embarrassing you, then maybe you just need to focus on yourself for a while, since you clearly aren’t feeling comfortable in your own skin. I love going to pride parades, because for once I’m in a protected area where I’m not expected to explain myself to anyone. They’re so freeing.
xophor
07 Feb 2010
Thank you for asking this question. A resounding YES! I have always felt this way even though I do find myself in attendance. I even have a problem with the use of the word "pride". Pride is not the same as self-respect or self-esteem. How can someone be "proud" of something they did nothing to accomplish? But back to those parades. People marching according to their sexual fetish category. Obese dykes giving "the girls" some air as they roar past topless on their motorcycles. The professional organizations like teachers and lawyers marching along as if to say "look at me…I’m a good catch!" The water-polo team prancing around to show how good they look in a speedo. Everything so hyper-sexualized except for the local politicians waving by to garner votes. Where’s the float for the "Toilet-sex Afficionados". Why are the In-The-Park-After-Dark Barebackers not marching? Or the Glory-Hole-Serial-Jizz-Guzzlers? Or the Rectal-Forearm-Insertionists? Where’s their "pride"? I have never, ever seen any part of a parade that represents me…and I’m part of the biggest group in the gay community: the average joe. I resent the fact that these parades advertise to the world everything that I am not…but who wants to see a float labeled "The Bitter Fingerpointers"!? Pride parades are a hypocritical farce…but they’re fun and festive too. People want to see it as much as those who participate want to give it. Supply and demand. I have my own share of internalized homophobia and I recognize the part it plays in making me feel this way. But I don’t have to drop my standards to the lowest common denominator to assuage my angst. The gay community is a young community and it’ll be a while before it grows up…it’s at the point of the 16-yr.-old who just got his driver’s licence. Another hundred years ought to do it. Until then, I’m content to be a bitter fingerpointer and let the gay community fumble along trying to gain acceptance through such in-your-face means. My message to the gay community is simple: "Get over yourselves!" Being gay doesn’t mean everything has to be bareass and jockstraps! Although I love and appreciate my gay friends, I also prefer to spend my time with straight people…except for those with kids because that’s all they talk about! We’re not alone in feeling this way…we’re just not as vocal as the highly visible fringe.
Trent S
07 Feb 2010
I hate gay prides parades, they’re all about sex and men who are conceited, and of course stereotypes. Great way to show the world we’re the same as everybody else….errrr…..not.
Draekz
29 Jun 2010
I am gay, and I am embarassed by Gay Pride events that display obscene sexuality and nudity out in public.
When I marched in Gay Pride in the 90′s, we were actually marching for our rights to be accepted in society. Now Gay Pride parades are run by Corporations and Organizations who want to make money. It is no longer about acceptance.
They are LYING to the world sayings its about acceptance. Its kinda like a Rave, where people say “Its about the Music.” when we all know its about the drugs.
Thats what Gay Parades are now, They aren’t about equal rights, they are about sex, drugs and rock and roll.
Shame on all the gay people who support Gay Pride the way it is today.
It is true that in some ways people encourage stereotypes when they are marching in those parades however you have to remember what they are marching for.
Let’s say that you and your current boyfriend decide to be together forever. Unless you live in Massachusetts those people marching in that parade are on the front lines of a battle for your right to marriage.
The right to marry goes much deeper than a peice of paper.
It is the right to be by your spouses side anytime if he is ever in the hospital.
It is the right to take care of final arrangements on the dreaded day that one of you dies.
It is the right to adopt and raise children.
That is just a short list of the many rights that they are marching for.
If you ultimatley settle down with a woman you will not have to worry about such things but any same-sex couple needs to be concerned with fightning for truly equal rights.
Many years ago people thought that the black people were making matters worse for themselves with their marches and protests but look how things changed there.